PMDD nearly destroyed my marriage
23 Jan 2008
This issue’s personal story comes from Liz Greenaway, who shares with us her experiences of PMDD(severe PMS) and how it nearly destroyed her marriage.
I’ve always had some form of PMS but it was only after the birth of my second child that things started to go awry (I was 33 and am now 41).I had post natal depression with both of my children but was never medicated or saw a doctor, I sought psychological help instead. When my children were three and five and a half respectively, I started a property development project with a friend. From that we got involved in setting up a specialist construction firm with a building acquaintance we had met along the way and we hit the ground running. I had one child just starting school and another in nursery two afternoons a week. Over the next three years we ran the company (the main office was in my home). The stress was unspeakable.
As my stress levels rose my life took a turn for the worse, my brother was diagnosed with a benign brain tumour; we had some major construction work done on our home and moved out for seven months; I lost both my grandparents; my godson was the victim in a hit and run (he survived thank God); my family was threatened on my doorstep by the insane neighbour of a client - the list goes on and on - and as my stress levels hit record levels my PMS turned into PMDD(severe PMS).
I realised things were going wrong and went to see my doctor who was very supportive and suggested blood tests etc but at that point I hadn’t recognized that it was hormonal. All blood tests came back ‘normal’ but I still felt bad, they asked me what I wanted to do next and I said I felt it was endocrine. At about the same time I came across a book called PMDD, which I read from cover to cover and realized it was written about me.
Things were so bad between my husband and I that we were on the brink of divorce. I had some days when I felt so awful that if I could I’d have just gone to sleep and not woken up, it was that awful feeling that I couldn’t get away from myself, and then times when it wasn’t so bad. My capacity to tolerate anything or anyone was zero; I was depressed and angry and paranoid; my brain was foggy and I just felt awful. Then something very serendipitous happened. One day when things were really bad my mum went to see her gynaecologist a year early by mistake (!) and she happened to mention me. He gave her the name of an excellent specialist who deals with PMDD.
I was prepared to pay anything to get better as my life was at a real low. My kids (by this point were about five and eight) were under stress as they had an insane mother who shouted at them for nothing and weren’t too sure if their parents were going to stay together, my husband and I could barely speak to each other without it turning into an argument. I went to see the specialist and for the first time felt that someone understood, especially when he told me that people wouldn’t expect a diabetic to ‘snap out of it’ and control it with their minds – PMDD was the same.
He suggested several ways through and after a bit of deliberation I decided to go for the oestrogen patches and mirena coil. He also suggested I keep a diary of symptoms and I made my own form based on a design in the PMDD book. I had to have scans and blood tests but unfortunately the scan showed up a medium sized endometrial cyst which needed surgery before I could start the treatment.
I saw him in the October and I had the operation the following January (2006). It turned out I had endometriosis; a fimbrial cyst on my left fallopian tube; the known cyst on the right ovary which had attached the ovary and itself to my pelvic wall; a heamorraghic cervix and uterine polyps!! I was tidied up and had the mirena fitted and then after three months I started on the oestrogen patches.
After the operation and once on the treatment everything started to calm down – it gave me the space to realize what was happening and what I needed to do to change my life. I decided to leave my business and get my life back on course. My marriage improved and the person that I used to be started to come back.
After several months on the treatment some of my earlier symptoms crept back – nothing anywhere near where I was before (I felt like everything had been muted) but not as good as the beginning. My consultant thought that I wasn’t ‘suppressed’ enough and suggested zoladex injections. I had a bone density scan and further blood tests and started on the zoladex injections. As they were effectively putting me into the menopause my oestrogen patch was reduced from 100mcg to 50mcg as they were now acting as ‘add-back’ therapy. For the next three weeks before the zoladex kicked in, all the symptoms came back and life really went backwards. I was warned that it might happen that way as it takes three weeks for the drug to work. It really showed me how my hormones had been ruling my life and how much better I had got when it all came crashing back again. Thankfully at 21 days it all lifted.
Unfortunately I then started to experience pain again (I hadn’t realized that I was getting pelvic pain most of the time – I’d got used to it) specifically on my right side and a scan showed up a small cyst. The pain didn’t subside so I had to undergo another operation. Thankfully there was no endometriosis recurrence just the small cyst and adhesions – both my ovaries had attached to the pelvic wall and needed to be untethered – and a small amount of scar tissue.
I’m now on 75mcg oestrogen patches; the coil is still in there and I’m still on the zoladex. I have to have another bone scan in January as it will have been a year on the zoladex. If that’s all OK then I’ll continue. I’ve now changed my life and am at university doing a degree and it is so much better. I fully expect at some point in the future to come off the treatment and then let my body go through menopause naturally. But that’s in the future, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it!
Liz Greenaway
