It all started when I was very young. My mum used to have awful mood swings. Some days she would be great and we used to have lots of fun together other days I could not breathe without up setting her. She would lose her temper if I spoke while she was watching a TV programme. I lived a lot of my childhood being in fear and being physically abused. I could not wait to leave home.
When I was 18 I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. I would lose my temper with my boyfriend. I would punch him, empty out drawers, wreck our bedroom, and call him nasty names. I was very violent I tried to strangle him and stab him on a number of occasions. He never once fought back. Other days the slightest little thing would make me cry. I thought it was to do with my past with the abuse from my mother. I sought counselling and things improved slightly. I managed to control the punching and physical damage I was doing to my partner. However the mental abuse and the crying continued. I started keeping a diary and realised that these moods where happing around the time of my period. I started taking vitamin B6 and evening primrose but this did not seem to help. We got married a year later in 1992. Life went on him putting up with my moods etc. Until I became pregnant in 1999.
My pregnancy had its complications but I was like a different person. I had no mood swings I felt very relaxed and not on edge. I give birth in 2000. Within months the PMS had come back worse than ever. I felt helpless. Before my period I was on edge very moody, weepy, dropping everything, forgetting everything, felling like I want to ended it all. I even had to get my husband home from work to look after our daughter has I just could not function. The rest of the month I would be great. I made an appt with my GP he was so unhelpful. “Are you sure its not depression you have” he said. I told him I was not sure but did not think so as I was ok for part of the month. He said if it was depression he could treat me if not I would have to see the lady doctor at the surgery (don’t they all have the same training). I was sent packing with some vitamin B6. A few months later I changed doctors. I spoke to my Health visitor about my PMS she referred me to a doctor. The doctor was very sympathetic. She recommended some more counselling and an antidepressant that is used to treat PMS. It was during one of the counselling sessions I realised that it must have been PMS that my mums suffered from all those years ago. She had a hysterectomy a few years after I left home and since she was like a new woman no more losing her temper over simple things.
The tablets worked for the first time in years I felt in control of my life. During PMS it would be as if I was looking at myself from outside my body being nasty both physically and mentally and there was nothing I could do about it. In August 2002 I became pregnant. I went off the tablets. Everything was great until I gave up breastfeeding then Psycho woman returned. That’s what we call the PMS me. It’s like a got a split personality. I became violent towards my husband, my stomach became so bloated I could not get my jeans on, I felt suicidal I have just had the antidepressants back from the doctor. I also am considering have a hysterectomy the doctor said it may be possible the only factor against it is the fact I am only 28.